How Are You Going to Act During Labor?

Most women don't spend much time thinking how they'll act during labor, but most hope that they won't end up like the screaming women they see on television. Who really wants to look so out of control? Who really wants to snap at their partner? It may be funny on sitcom, but do you really want your memories of your baby's birth to involve harsh words and looking like a crazy woman? There are three roles in your birth, and surprisingly, one of them is yours! A closer look at all three will help you avoid that "prime time TV" style panic attack.

The Birth Team

Your birth team is composed of the people you hire to be there at birth. Another name could be the medical team. These people are there because they have some sort of birth or infant expertise that you would like to have present at your birth.

You may decide that you want to use a doctor and give birth at a hospital. In this case, your team is the doctors and nurses that will attend you at your birth.

Some women will choose to use a midwife, either at the hospital, a birth center, or at home. You may have a team of midwives, or you may have a midwife and her apprentices (students). If you're at the hospital you'll have a midwife and nurses.

Regardless of where you choose to give birth or who you decide to hire as your birth professional, your birth team will have one role in your birth. Their role is to monitor the progress of your labor and your baby. They make sure that everything is going well. They may have ideas to help labor move along. They may propose things for you to do or interventions for you or your baby.

Your Partner or Birth Coach

The next role in your birth is your partner's or birth coach's role. There are many people that can fill this role. Most women want their baby's father to be their birth partner. Some women feel fine calling their partner a "coach" and other people don't like the term. Sometimes a mother, sister, or best friend fulfills this role.

If you hire a doula she will be in this partner or supportive role as well, perhaps along with your husband or baby's father.

Your partner or coach is there to support you and help you to handle labor. They may also run interference for you with your medical team, communicating your wants and desires. They can help remind the team of procedures you do and do not want. Your partner will help you remember the birth preparation you've done and the birthing skills you've developed.

You!

The third role in birth is that of the birthing mother -- that's you! It may seem obvious that you're going to be there at birth doing something, and that's where the problems start for most moms. You know that you'll be there and you'll give birth. You may imagine that you'll deal with the pain of the experience and that it will be hard work.

But most women have no idea on what they're going to do and how they're going to handle things. They may feel like it's the birth team's job to make sure that everything moves along. They may expect their birth partner to step in and keep things under control.

In reality, this is your birth. You decide how you're going to act and what you're going to do. It's your birth team's job to monitor your labor and your baby, making sure that all is safe. But it's not their job to get into your body and do what you need to do to give birth. It's not your partner's job, either. Your partner can't help support you if you're not willing to help yourself.

So how can you make sure you don't become a silly, screaming woman like you see on the comedy sitcoms? How do you avoid becoming one of those women cursing their partner on the maternity ward reality shows? You need to go into labor prepared. You should have a variety of skills that you can draw on during labor: when it hurts, when it's hard, when it's moving super-fast -- or super slowly!

These skills will give you something to draw on so you can work with your baby's efforts to be born. Your partner will be able to remind you and support you in using the skills, and your medical team can monitor you and be sure that you and baby are doing just fine. You stay in calm and in control, ready to welcome your baby with open arms.